Beverly Hills Presbyterian Church

I've been watching a lot of old westerns lately. To be frank, I watch a lot of old westerns as a matter of course. In many westerns, the men who are seeking something venture to the west. This realization inspired me to head a bit farther west, off the beaten trail, to Beverly. Hills, that is.

I don't spend a tremendous amount of time in Beverly Hills because -- by and large -- I've never felt welcome there. I don't come from money, and I haven't done as good a job of amassing a fortune as most of the folks of Beverly Hills. But there is something to be said about driving down Santa Monica Blvd. and seeing all of the different churches and temples that line the street. Amidst the ritzy shops and expensive eateries, there is a segment of the city's populace who remember the sabbath and keep it holy.

If a church hosts two worship services, it is almost a given that the early morning service will be traditional and the later service will be contemporary. The Beverly Hills Presbyterian Church won my heart by making the traditional service later in the day. The church is beautiful and ornate. The pews are, if not original to the church (which is celebrating its 90th year), old. The pews are in need of being replaced.

For a while there, PBS was running a unique series of reality TV wherein they'd select people and make them live the lives of their ancestors. Frontier House was my favorite among them, but a close second was Colonial House. In Colonial House, a group of people were made to live the lives of workers in a 17th century colony. When one of the colonists, a religious woman named Bethany, learned of the tragic death of her fiancee back in the real world, many of us felt the pain of her entire family; a few of us then thought, "So... Bethany is single" but that's another story for another day. The reason I'm bringing up the show was because the colonists had to attend Sunday worship and spend several hours on hard-wood benches... basically logs split in half. The pews at the church I attended today were not that bad, but they weren't much better.

Something that occurs with some frequency is that the churches I visit tend to have guest speakers, interim pastors, etc. It isn't fair for me to offer a full review under these circumstances, but I always try to make a few remarks about what took place. Such was the case this morning, when the head pastor found himself stranded on the East Coast due to a blizzard. They'd already planned to have some missionaries speak at the service, so at the last minute one of them agreed to deliver a sermon.

There is a soft spot in my heart for those who would travel to far off places to do missionary work. My godparents and their family served in Liberia for years. Part of the personal sacrifice they made inspired me to join the Peace Corps years later. One Christmas they sent me a gift: a nativity scene hand carved out of wood by some of the locals. Just as so many Italian artists before them, the locals took literally the part in the Bible which said they were made in God's image. In other words, all the featured players in my African nativity scene appear African, including the Baby Jesus. It is one of my favorite holiday decorations and I greatly enjoyed displaying it when I taught at various Christian schools... various conservative Christian schools.

These missionaries had been working in Africa as well, so I looked forward to the sermon... until the props were introduced... and until the teenagers were led from their Sunday school classes back into the church. This sermon was catered to the young and grossly oversimplified, leaving little for those who crave a more intellectual message. "Be on God's team" was the lesson -- really didn't need the pottery wheel to drive that point home.

Otherwise, the worship service was a good one. It began with the church choir singing a call to worship. When the voices began emanating from the rear of the church, I assumed they were performing in the balcony. However, as I turned to look, I could see they had gathered at the entrance to the church; they were literally calling those outside to worship. Afterwards, there was a processional which I like.

Those in the congregation were not very vocal when it came time to sing, but the choir itself had a really good sound. While the hymn "A Mighty Fortress is Our God" has never been a favorite of mine, the choir managed to pull it off. Better still, this morning I was introduced to a song I hadn't heard before entitled, "Springs In The Desert" by Arthur Jennings. Based on Isaiah 35, the song's tones were somber and reverent and they spoke to me. So even though the sermon was nothing to write home about, I did get to hear a song I hadn't heard before and consider a verse of Isaiah that I hadn't really considered before.

Amen.

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Sunday Scorecard

This will be a regular part of my weekly reviews, a series of short-answer questions about the day's experience.

What is the contact info for the church?

Beverly Hills Presbyterian Church
500 N. Rodeo Dr.
Beverly Hills, CA 90210
323/271-5194
http://www.bhpc2.org/

What was the denomination?

Presbyterian

What Bible verses were referenced?

The pastor was supposed to focus on the Book of John but the guest speaker sort of off-the-cuff quoted a few verses in Romans.

What are the demographics of the congregation?

Actually a good mix, and they have a special Iranian/Farsi service late in the day that sounded unique.

Was the atmosphere formal or casual?

Formal in structure and tone. Associate pastor and choir in vestments.

What was the music like?

Organ and choir which had a good sound -- the congregation, not so much

How was the use of PowerPoint?

No PowerPoint

Being Hollywood, were there celebrities in the congregation?

Yes, one very well-known and a few semi-well-known

"Lord have mercy!"

This might not fit neatly into my weekly reviews of various houses of worship, but I'd be remiss if I didn't voice my anger at the removal of Jim Ladd from KLOS.

For those not in the know, Jim Ladd is a legacy broadcaster who helped to transform FM radio and fought to preserve its uniqueness. He is known as the last of the freeform rock jocks, operating without a playlist and choosing -- or letting his listeners choose -- the music on their radio station. Jim Ladd often referred to radio as the "tribal drum" that called a community together and united them through the gift of music.

I won't presume to know about Jim Ladd's faith, but he strikes me as being a very spiritual individual. If he's ever spoken of his specific beliefs, I never heard it; mostly I've heard him express love and compassion towards all of humanity (with the possible exception of a few station managers and politicians).

I wanted to share a set of songs for those who know of him and for those who do not; he really is a special broadcaster. This set of songs evolved from a request made by one of his listeners, namely me. I called into his show about 10 years ago and talked with him. I was in a foul mood and I requested he play some sort of music to provide a little hope on what had been a dreary day. Jim Ladd provided in a way few DJs can do; he selected some songs that were spiritual and uplifting... songs that were not on anybody's playlist. What happened then was amazing: It lit a spark that ignited the community, and soon other listeners were calling in requesting songs to add to the list. The community came together via the tribal drum, and the music on Jim Ladd's show connected us in spirit.

Jim Ladd is not dead, and I have little doubt he will resurface on another station soon. In the meantime, if you'd care to hear some of the set he created specifically to help strengthen me, click here. The audio is converted for a cassette tape (remember those), so apologies for the lower quality and tape hiss.

Lord, have mercy.

Amen.

The First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood (third visit)

I had some personal matters to attend to last week, and I felt bad about not having attended worship.  I'd hoped to squeeze in a mid-week service somewhere, but none of the places I'd scouted looked promising or interesting. So I decided I'd be going to two worship services today to make up for it. The plan was to attend worship at the Russian Orthodox church first in English and then again in Russian, but after the English service it became obvious it wasn't the church for me. I decided to give The First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood another go this morning.

The chief thing First Presbyterian has going for it is its pastor, Dan Baumgartner. I find his sermons to be thoughtful, intelligent, and above-and-beyond the norm. Because of him, I gain more insight into the Scriptures, and thus feel closer to God (and thus feel I can get away with using words like "thus"). However, on my second visit to the church, I found the demographics of the 9:30am traditional service to pale in comparison to the 11:00am contemporary service. I liked the diversity in the contemporary attendees, but I just don't like modern music and the general informality of a contemporary service.

I tried the 9:30am service this week, as well. Again, an excellent sermon by the pastor about how our attitude towards children is a fair barometer of our general character. But in addition to that, as he has done in the past, he took a well-known passage (the "suffer the children... come unto me" verses from Luke) and avoided the cliche. He did not make it about baptism or confirmation the way most pastors do, instead, focusing on an idea found a few verses later about how we need to be childlike -- regardless of age -- when attempting to relate to God. We must approach Him with humility, and we must be in awe, if for no other reason than because there will always be so much we do not understand and cannot control. He made some cogent points. But, as before, the congregation lacked youth and diversity.

I am not against old-people, though I am against the older woman who sat behind me during today's sermon, noisily going to town on hard candy. I'm not kidding, it sounded like she was mashing boulders in a quarry. Anyway, I know I am not the only person under the age of 40 who values the ritual and formality of a traditional worship service. And I know there are people of different ethnicities and backgrounds who feel the same, too. It isn't that I need those things, but First Presbyterian is in the heart of Hollywood; it ought to reflect the diversity of those who live in the area.

What I'll do is continue to periodically attend First Presbyterian; I might try another contemporary service and see if I can take the praise band. In the meantime, I'll keep searching for that perfect home church for me, because this is important to me. As a child I got led around to whatever church my mom told me to go to. As a young adult I fell into the rut of the Lutheran church because it was what I knew. As a man, I want to find a church that speaks to me, and though a pastor is a large part of a church, there should be more there for me than just that.

Amen.

_______________________________________________

Sunday Scorecard

This will be a regular part of my weekly reviews, a series of short-answer questions about the day's experience.

What is the contact info for the church?

The First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood

1760 N. Gower St.
Hollywood, CA 90025
323/463-7161

http://www.fpch.org

What was the denomination?

Presbyterian

What Bible verses were referenced?

Luke 18:15-17

What are the demographics of the congregation?

The contemporary service was much more diverse than the traditional 9:30am service

Was the atmosphere formal or casual?

Formal in structure and tone

What was the music like?

Organ and a voluminous choir (and a better-than-average children's choir), with a shout-out to the lovely and talented Karmen Suter on flute

How was the use of PowerPoint?

Very little, just for the Bible verses and song lyrics

Being Hollywood, were there celebrities in the congregation?

Either yes or a good lookalike

The Protection of the Holy Virgin Russian Orthodox Church

Back in '02 I visited a Russian Orthodox church in a Russian speaking country.

I had no clue what anybody was saying, but the chanting sounded beautiful and the church looked like something out of a storybook. This morning I attended The Protection of the Holy Virgin Russian Orthodox Church in Hollywood, just off the 101 freeway. They spoke in English, but I still frankly had no clue what anybody was saying. The chanting still sounded beautiful, albeit distracting at times. The church looked... well... like somebody had littered a basement with framed paintings and candelabras.

As I am about to demonstrate, I am not an expert in what it means to be orthodox. Clearly, however, all the saints (and more than a few minor Biblical characters) hold tremendous weight with the church; if they are not on equal footing with Jesus, they are nonetheless greatly elevated above us mere mortals. Instead of congregations I am accustomed to which kneel before a cross and pray to Jesus, the Russian Orthodox customs include bowing down to the apostles, the Biblical authors, the guy who cleaned the manger where Jesus was born, the man who grew the grapes for the wine used in the Last Supper, etc. Seriously, ever see the beginning of "The Muppet Show"? That is what the alter-area looks like.

No disrespect intended; I am merely pointing out that those who may be confused by the 3-in-1 concept of the trinity are really going to be overwhelmed by number of folks to pray to in the Russian Orthodoxy.

To be blunt (uncharacteristic of me, I know), the worship service is not really geared towards the congregation. The liturgy is an offering to God (and all the saints and on and on). Those in attendance are merely bystanders -- and I mean that literally, because one does not sit during the worship service. If your legs get tired of standing, you can always walk to your favorite portrait of your favorite Biblical pal and light a candle or kiss the picture or kiss the floor or make the sign of the cross. Meanwhile, there is a small chorus in the balcony offering up chants "unto the ages of ages," which to me is one of those place-holder phrases that really doesn't mean anything. For that matter, the word "ineffable" was used a few times and the late Douglas Adams pointed out its vagueness means it can be dropped in front of almost any word or person with no impact whatsoever.

There was no spoken word portion of the service; everything was chanted or sung, including the Bible readings. There is a cadence all involved seem to adopt, and after 30 minutes or so, my dark, comedic mind envisioned a comedy sketch wherein that is how they speak throughout their everyday life (ordering from a drive-thru, grocery shopping, etc.). This thought made me giggle, which didn't please those standing near to me. I pondered heading over to a nearby portrait and lighting a candle, but the man depicted appeared to be "Fat Elvis" and I much preferred the more spry Elvis of the '68 comeback special. I looked around but couldn't find any images of that king.

The sanctuary itself felt cluttered, with framed portraits covering the walls and -- in some cases -- plopped in the middle of the room. As is the custom, the alter itself is blocked from view. There were secret doors and panels leading in and out of the alter area. The priests did most of their work behind what looked like the doors to a wild west saloon. Occasionally, a guy who looked like either a Number Two Lead Pencil or a Marshmallow Peep (depending on the angle) would walk around with his "shaky-shaky" incense dispenser and stink up the place. For a while, some folks approached a priest for some sort of private prayer moment, and -- hand-to-God -- the priest would lift up part of his robe and put the other person under it while he prayed with them. I'm going to admit that I, personally, would not be comfortable with that level of priestly intimacy.

I hope any Russian Orthodox readers can find the humor in all this, because -- obviously -- without context I had no clue what was going on. A few positives: no children's message, no "greetings," no PowerPoint. Primary negative: no clue what was going on.

Which is why today I doubled-up and attended a second worship service.

Amen.

_________________________________________________

Sunday Scorecard

What is the contact info for the church?

The Protection of the Holy Virgin Russian Orthodox Church
2041 Argyle Ave.
Hollywood, CA 90068

http://www.pokrovchurch.org/

What was the denomination?

Russian Orthodox

What Bible verses were referenced?

Something from Paul and something from John (chanting made that tough to identify)

What are the demographics of the congregation?

Well... um... Russian

Was the atmosphere formal or casual?

Very formal environment

What was the music like?

Acapella chanting

How was the use of PowerPoint?

None

Being Hollywood, were there celebrities in the congregation?

Not that I could tell

No church review today...

Due to personal reasons, I was unable to visit a house of worship today, but fear not, faithful readers, because I intend on attending a mid-week worship service to make up for it. So thanks for your patience and understanding, and check back in a few days. 

To hold you over until then, please accept these words from Father Don Gavin, a favorite of mine. In the realm of tasteless yet poignant dogmatic humor, few sum it up as well as this clip. 

The First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood (second visit)

I opted to take another look at The First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood, this time attending the traditional worship service at 9:30am instead of the contemporary late morning worship. I first checked out the church a few months back and was pleasantly surprised by two things: the diversity of the congregation and the fact Pastor Dan Baumgartner's sermon didn't assume I was an idiot.

While I have enjoyed visiting the wide variety of churches the last few months, the argument could be made that I have strayed a bit off my original course which was to select a new home church for myself. And in a less literal sense, I wanted to find God inside one of these venues.

The less literal sense is kind of silly when you think about it. If you believe in Him, then it is a given that He can be anywhere, so God has been inside every church I've visited, just as He has been inside every 7-11 I've visited. But what I'm seeking is a place where I can feel Him, or at least feel closer to Him. But -- really -- I am seeking a place where I feel welcomed and where I don't feel inferior. I think maybe we all seek that place.

I noted not nearly as diverse a congregation in the earlier service, which disappointed me. However, it was stated in the announcements that a sizable chunk of the church membership was away at a retreat, so it might not be fair to use this morning's attendance as an accurate depiction. Clearly, a third visit will need to be made down the road. 

Pastor Baumgartner seems to be focused on the book of Luke this month, which contains more than its share of parables by Jesus. And just as he did last time, he spoke of a story in a way that I didn't feel talked down to. I concede that I am impressed with his approach to delivering a sermon.

The concept of delivering a sermon without being patronizing or condescending is worth repeating. A lot of people see the stories of Biblical times as told to children during Sunday School, and they never quite snap out of that mindset and into the concept of treating kids like kids but adults like adults. This leads all too often to atheists and agnostics talking about the juvenile nature of religion and faith. And a lot of the pandering lies in what is emphasized. Children should marvel at Jonah being swallowed whole by a big fish, but adults should marvel at how a man can hold onto his convictions in the face of overwhelming adversity. Children should marvel at the world being created in seven days, but adults should marvel at how a balance of nature can be achieved in such a complex structure at both a macro and micro level.

Today the pastor talked about the story of the rich man and Lazarus. Children should marvel at the familiar refrain in most theologies that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter heaven (*not applicable to followers of kabbalah). Adults, however, can look past the superficial and dig deeper into the substance. In this case, the story was about comparisons and contrasts.

• Clothing: Rich man was expertly wardrobed in colorful garments, while Lazarus not only had no clothes, but he had open wounds that the village dogs licked (ick).
• Food: Rich man feasted every day, while Lazarus looked on from outside, hoping for scraps.
• Housing: Rich man had a palace, while Lazarus had no place to lay his head.
• Buriel: Rich man was buried or entombed in the traditional manner of the wealthy of his day, while Lazarus would have died and decomposed out in the open air.
• Names: Rich man was never given a name in Jesus' story, while the name Lazarus translates loosely as "My God Helps."

In the end, one makes it to heaven and the other winds up someplace else. But instead of focusing on the superficial, one can dig deeper. Jesus was telling this story to the holy men of His day who had become obsessed with the finer things in their lives. As Jesus saw it, their pursuit of attaining things in the name of God had caused their lives to shrink. A modern version of this story would be the current pope living in his own private country, so far removed from humanity that he could not possibly relate to their experiences... not even with a profile on Twitter. I have no doubt the pope has great faith and feels blessed -- so would I if I had a palatial Italian penthouse and all the big hats I ever needed.

Pastor Baumgartner referenced this now-famous commencement address by the recently departed Steve Jobs, wherein he stated, "Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything -- all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure -- these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important." People have been critical of the idol worship after news of Jobs' passing was released, but I think many of us mourn the creative spirit that drove the man more than the man himself. I never met Steve Jobs, but the technology he helped to create and the passion he had would indicate to me that while he was pleased to have money, it was not money alone that drove him. There were multiple points in his life when he could have kicked back and enjoyed the millions of dollars he'd earned, but his idealism seemed to prevent that.

Reading the story of Lazarus and the rich man, while Lazarus is certainly aware of the rich man, there is no indication the rich man is aware of Lazarus until after both men died, and that is a poignant point. It is obvious the pope is unaware of my plight, but it is less obvious where Steve Jobs is concerned. It was never enough for Jobs to simply know the technology existed; he wanted it to exist in such a way that anyone could use it. My mother just bought an iPhone yesterday, and she'd be the first to admit she is not strong in technology. But she likes sending texts and playing games and staying in touch with friends and family, and it is now easy for her to do so.

As I understand it, Steve Jobs was born to a Muslim family and converted to Buddhism. I'm unaware of any public statements he made about God or the afterlife. Irregardless, his attitude towards this life is commendable. But if there is a heavenly reward in the afterlife, Steve Jobs might have passed through the eye of a needle to get there, so to speak. In any case, there are lessons to be learned today from two different rich men; one who had a name and one who did not.

Amen.

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Sunday Scorecard

This will be a regular part of my weekly reviews, a series of short-answer questions about the day's experience.

What is the contact info for the church?

The First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood

1760 N. Gower St.
Hollywood, CA 90025
323/463-7161

http://www.fpch.org

What was the denomination?

Presbyterian

What Bible verses were referenced?

Deuteronomy 15:7-11 and Luke 16:19-31


What are the demographics of the congregation?

The late service was much more diverse than the traditional 9:30am service

Was the atmosphere formal or casual?

Formal in structure and tone

What was the music like?

Organ and a voluminous choir

How was the use of PowerPoint?

Very little, just for the Bible verses and song lyrics

Being Hollywood, were there celebrities in the congregation?

Either yes or a good lookalike

Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels

Today's church review will not be traditional, but -- frankly -- none of my reviews have been traditional, so that shouldn't be too startling. The church in question is well beyond the confines of Hollywood (though it can clearly seen from the Hollywood freeway), and it is well outsides the norms of a conventional church. For starters, it has its own gift shop.

Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels is in the heart of historic Los Angeles. It would be highly visible even if it wasn't massive in size because it can be seen by every motorist stuck in traffic on the 101 freeway (which is every motorist stuck in traffic). What sets this review apart from the others is that I didn't technically attend worship here. I was in Los Angeles on Saturday and had never seen this church up close, so I decided to take a look inside. I don't think my review will be lacking too many details, however, since this is a Catholic church, and if you've seen one mass you've essentially seen them all.

The Catholics don't do anything small as a general rule, but this is the "mother church" of the archdiocese of Los Angeles, so they held nothing back. It has its own parking structure, a massive outdoor activity area with fountains, tables, chairs, and a children's play area. Almost every Catholic church has a place to light a candle, kneel down, and pray to the Virgin Mary -- you'll find that outside as well, overlooking the aforementioned Hollywood freeway. I already mentioned the gift shop -- the church also has free wifi.

Walking inside, you'll find a very modern approach to the very classic cathedral arrangement. In a twist, the alter is close to the entrances (there is one at each side), though the holy water is in the rear of the sanctuary. You see the hint of old school cathedral ceilings, but with some key differences. The dark wood is gone, as is the stained glass and the frescoes, all replaced by lighter, friendlier equivalents.

One side corridor of the church seems dedicated to the look and feel of the past, but the rest is contemporary. And in this instance I approve. It is still a church; it still feels like a church; and it still seems to be dedicated to the concept of "God's house." However, even God's house can be renovated from time to time. Granted, I didn't attend mass here, but despite the fact the cathedral has its own coffee shop (that serves Starbucks), I'd wager cups don't get brought inside. I'd wager people remove their hats when they enter (I did). And I'd wager that when parishioners introduce themselves and shake hands with Monsignor Kevin Kostelnik, he doesn't say, "Please, call me Kevin."

At the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels, Catholicism is taken very seriously, because this is where popes, cardinals, and bishops gather to worship while in town. That said, I cannot help but wonder where Jesus would break bread while in the city. I won't claim to speak for Him or understand His wants, but if I had to guess I'd say that Skid Row would see more of Jesus than the Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels.

Amen.

_______________________________________________

Sunday Scorecard

This will be a regular part of my weekly reviews, a series of short-answer questions about the day's experience.

What is the contact info for the church?

Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels
555 W. Temple St.
Los Angeles, CA 90012
213/680-5200

http://www.olacathedral.org/

What was the denomination?

Catholic

What Bible verses were referenced?

n/a

What are the demographics of the congregation?

n/a

Was the atmosphere formal or casual?

formal interior, less formal exterior

What was the music like?

n/a

How was the use of PowerPoint?

None at all

Being Hollywood, were there celebrities in the congregation?

n/a